BREAKFAST BIBLE STUDY

David the Dethroner

1 Samuel 18: 1-4, 20:41 (NET)

9/7/25

“Christian nationalists should spend less time seeking power and more time reading the words Jesus preached.” – Christian Pecker

Since Grace and Christian gave me a hint about what we would read this week, I went through both books of Samuel to see what Samuel had to say about David and Jonathan. There was kissing and stuff and lots of love, which makes me think that David and Jonathan would have been perfect candidates for the Reparative Retreat because of all the biblical laws against homosexuality. When Grace and Christian came to breakfast, they found me making the coffee and boiling some oatmeal and mixing some eggs for omelets.

“Cole making breakfast?” Christian asked. “What’s the occasion?”

“I guessed what you would pick,” I said. “1 Samuel 18: 1-4 and 20:41.”

“Good guess,” Grace said. “What do you think?”

“David and Jonathan really liked each other,” I said.

“But they both had wives,” Christian said. “David had multiple wives and was lustful toward Bathsheba.”

“So…they were the B in LGBLT?”

“Those aren’t the letters,” Grace said.

“That’s the only way I remember it,” I said. “But…you always say, ‘what does the text say?’ and ‘be careful about the apologetic people changing meanings’ and stuff.”

“We do say those things,” Grace admitted.

“So, what does the text say in those verses for real?” I asked.

Christian reads: “‘After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.’ 1 Samuel 18:1-4.”

“I don’t think he gets naked,” I said.

“Why do you think that?” Grace said.

“Because at other times, David and Saul get naked,” I said. “Here, it doesn’t say naked, so he probably had on underwear or something.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t say Jonathan gets naked,” Grace said.

“So…what does it mean taking off all that stuff and giving it to David?” I asked.

“I think Jonathan might be giving David his royal insignia,” Christian said. “Jonathan was prince and heir apparent. Back then, robes were signs of status. Jonathan gives David his.”

“It says they kiss,” I said. “That’s in chapter twenty. I can’t remember how it all goes because some boy is shooting arrows. I think it’s a secret signal or something.”

“David was hiding from Saul,” Christian said. “Saul flew into rages.”

“And sometimes an evil spirit from the Lord came upon him,” I said.

“Which is a tricky passage for Christian apologists,” Christian nodded.

“Found it,” Grace said and then read: “After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.’ 1 Samuel 20:41.”

“They probably shouldn’t have been kissing,” I said.

“But they were also crying,” Grace said. “Upon further review, I don’t think that this moment is sexual. It could be…but I can’t say for sure that it is.”

“Yep,” I said. “David wept the most. I didn’t know what that meant. He’s a big baby?”

“I don’t think they wanted to separate,” Grace said, “but Saul was out to kill David.”

“You’re right, Cole,” Christian said. “The text says they love each other, but you really need to read between the lines to presume the relationship was sexual. Queer relationships in the royal court would not have been unusual, but I prefer taking the text at face value.”

“I don’t get it then,” I said.

“I think these stories might be about giving David royal legitimacy,” Christian said. “The prophet Samuel anoints both Saul and David, but David ends up overthrowing Saul. Jonathan making a covenant with David gives David another layer of legitimacy. That’s all this may be.”

“But David was anointed,” I said.

“Sure,” Grace said, “but didn’t kingship generally pass from father to son?”

“There’s also the part where Saul gets enraged with Jonathan because of David,” I said.

“I’ll find that,” Christian said as he flipped through the Bible.

“Found it,” Grace said and then read: “‘Saul became angry with Jonathan and said to him, “You stupid traitor! Don’t I realize that to your own disgrace and to the disgrace of your mother’s nakedness you have chosen this son of Jesse? For as long as this son of Jesse is alive on the earth, you and your kingdom will not be established. Now, send some men and bring him to me. For he is as good as dead!.’ 1 Samuel 20:30-32.”

“Is he mad at him for sex with David?” I asked.

“It doesn’t say that,” Grace said, “though his anger smacks of homophobia.”

“I think he might be mad because David is a threat to his kingship,” Christian said. “David is gaining power and popularity. Saul even tells Jonathan his kingdom will not be established as long as David lives. The concern is with royal power.”

“So, it’s all about the throne?” I asked.

“I think so,” Grace said. “I think those who read homoeroticism into the story are doing the same thing many Christians do with apologetics.”

“Oh, I was thinking that they might be gay,” I said. “So, are they?”

“The text doesn’t say that,” Grace admitted. “I always thought so, but now I don’t know.”

“But why does it matter?” Christian said. “The story is about the throne.”

“That said,” Grace smiled. “Would you want to teach this story in public schools?”

“I’d be scared about the questions kids would ask,” I said. “It has kissing and stuff. I wouldn’t want to explain any of that. I know gay people, like my good friend Pastor Pete, but I wouldn’t explain it any good.”

“How would you explain it?” Grace asked.

“Some men like women,” I said. “Some men like men. Some women like women. Some people like both. It’s all okay between adults with safe sex and stuff…unless they change the laws or something.”

“Dangerous waters for any teacher,” Grace said. “So…you would teach acceptance?”

“Except for good touch, bad touch,” I said. “Bad touch is always wrong.”

“Well, kids know that people kiss,” Christian said. “Platonic kisses between men occur across many cultures. It’s no big deal. If that’s what the story is, that’s what I’d teach…if I was forced. That said, when David comes to court, Jonathan seems quite smitten with him. Jonathan smitten is the best argument for homosexuality.”

“I think some parents would get mad at that,” I said. “Some parents would send their kids to conversion therapy if they started asking about David and Jonathan. Those are bad places that just make money off hate.”

“Cole, Grace and I aren’t biblical scholars or sex ed teachers,” Christian said. “Most teachers specialize in fields like math, history, and science, not biblical scholarship. Health teachers specialize in sex education. Would you want teachers who don’t have the proper training to teach subject matter like biblical scholarship or sex ed?”

“Can they get the training?” I asked. “If the Bible becomes law, I mean? See, even with all the violence in the Bible, it still has lots of sex. I don’t want anybody getting in trouble for teaching the wrong things from the Bible, like all the sex and violence.”

“Who would be doing the training?” Grace asked.

“The government?” I asked.

“It’s interesting that the same people who claim to want smaller government,” Grace said, “also want their biblical views imposed on children through legal mandate. Every time that Bible thumpers force their views on public schools, they make matters worse.”

“How?” I asked.

“Abstinence-only programs utterly failed when we were growing up,” Grace said.

“Maybe they should just stick to teaching the Bible in church,” I said. “Though, I still think that the Bible shouldn’t be banned and that kids should be able to pray if they want to.”

“Cole, most school libraries carry copies of the Bible for children to read,” Grace said.

“Wait,” I said. “They do.”

“Of course,” Christian said. “And nobody can stop kids from praying in school. It’s when prayer and Bible reading are forced on children that we run into legal issues.”

“That’s the point we’ve been trying to make all year,” Grace said.

“So…kids aren’t being stopped from praying and reading the Bible in public schools?” I asked.

“Of course not,” Christian said. “People who say as much are willfully ignorant or lying.”

“Oh, then I agree with you,” I said. “That law about the Trump Bible is dumb.”

“Convincing him only took thirty-six weeks,” Christian told Grace.

“Does that mean we have to be done?” I asked.

“We’re nearly ready to harvest,” Christian said. “Do you think we’ll have time for this?”

“Maybe I can find a passage next week that I don’t understand,” I said. “You can try to explain it to me. I’ll pick one that’s short.”

“If you have time,” Grace said.

“I’ll pick a good one,” I said. “I’ll make sure it’s inappropriate for children. Those are fun.”

In state legislatures across the country, Christian fundamentalists are passing laws meant to force the teaching of the Christian Bible in public schools. From the posting of textually inaccurate iterations of the Ten Commandments on the walls of classrooms to the incorporation of the “Trump Bible” across multiple pedagogical disciplines, these laws and mandates are sweeping the reddest parts of this nation.

The height of hypocrisy is banning books in the name of “protecting children” while mandating one particular book rife with numerous acts of sexual violence and scenes of graphic violence and genocide.

Book bans are dangerous. The Bible is worth reading and exists online and in public school libraries across the country, but proponents of mandating its formal teaching in public schools need to know what it actually says.

Some themes in my books below might not be appropriate for children.